Anxiety setting in again…

I really am making up for lost time in the anxiety department.   I have never been one to worry, but now I am faced with these huge “what if”s”… really makes a difference when we are talking about “life expectancy”.

Rick & I will be meeting with a liver surgeon specialist this week and this is what I am focusing on.

We will find out if surgery to remove the 4 tumours on my liver is even an option.

If we get a “yes” we can operate…, then I have worried for nothing, because this will buy me (and us) more time.

I’m not afraid of surgery even though I am told it is a major one (again).

What I am afraid of is hearing…. “no we can’t operate, your tumours are not accessible & it’s too risky”.

This is the question in my mind….. “then what?”

Now that I have that off my chest, I am going to focus on getting through chemo #6 of 12 this week.

(thank you to my dear friend Debbie W. for taking me to treatment this time)

My immune system is low & I have been dealing with a nasty cough/cold so I’m hoping that I don’t get knocked down too much more.   If I do, then my daily goal will me a good giggle dose of the Ellen DeGeneres show, cuddling in my blanket on my lazy-girl chair with C.J. snoring beside me.   With any luck, a nice little afternoon nap for me and Dr. Oz at three!   Pretty ambitious eh?  Trust me, I would rather be out in the garden getting my hands dirty and getting my backyard retreat ready for summer.  It will happen, just maybe not this week.

Let’s keep our fingers crossed and hope the surgeon in London can give us some good news !!

Hugs, Karrie