The hard way…

Since I was a little girl, and I don’t know why,  I seem to learn best by “learning the hard way”.  (this drives some people who love me totally nuts)  However, I don’t make the same mistake twice.   Learning things the hard way, is what has been weighing me down for the last two days while I try to make a decision as to how to proceed or not to proceed with treatment.  Why can’t the doctors just tell me what to do?  This is the one of the most single important choices that I have to make and I just cannot learn this lesson “the hard way”.  Lord help me to something the easy way, the smart way this time.  I want to work smarter, not harder.    If only this decision was as easy as choosing what movie to rent, what colour of shoes to buy, what to wear today.