This year unfortunately will not be what I was anticipating. I feel like I have been sucker punched. I was on such a high just before Christmas and unfortunately my celebration was premature. We found out on Jan. 31 that the cancer has returned. My doctor questioned something odd but not alarming on the CT scan from December and investigated further into it. This CT scan was my scheduled 6 month check up, a normal thing in cancerland. I had a follow up ultrasound, and it backed up the good CT. However between the time I celebrated and the time my doctor received my bloodwork results, that is when things turned to uncertainty and more testing. I underwent a PET scan and some poking and proddding and my CEA (bloodwork) is at a level higher than it has ever been. Not good. I was told that the cancer has returned. Deep in the liver, two spots and a follow up MRI is scheduled next week for an even more detailed look to see exactly what my liver has to say.
So what does all this mean? It means another liver surgery and chemotherapy again and all the crap that goes with it, hair loss, mouth sores, tiredness, running to the bathroom (both ends), not to mention the whole surgery and recovery part.
I had 70% of my liver removed already so I don’t know how much I can live a normal life on. My oncologist told me that she is “very concerned” so we will be treating aggressively with all they have to offer me and I am willing to do whatever it takes. At this point I am just waiting for appointments to get things rolling. Yes I am scared, but even more so, I am focused. I can do this. I am strong.
I also want you to know that my spirit is not broken, it’s just bruised but more so I am angry. I’ve done everything possible to live the healthiest life possible and I thought that I could beat the odds and kick this thing. Turns out I have some more work to do, but it will be so worth it.
For now I will just say that I will be putting in some serious over-time at Save My Ass Inc. The job sucks, but the pay is so rewarding.