Back to work…

I am still in the anger phase. I would equal it being in shock I guess. This can’t possibly be true. However the events of the last eight weeks pretty much confirms the truth. (inserts fists through a wall or a few tire kicks here) So as I just mentioned, just eight weeks ago on Dec. 14, I celebrated my 2 year canniversary date and a new year 2012 was just in my reach of many great days and great health. Surprise! It all started Jan 5. I feel like a lab rat, but on the plus side I am so very grateful that my doctors are paying attention to me or my “file number”. These eight weeks have flown by except for all the time spent in waiting rooms. CT scan, ultrasound, MRI, several lab trips for bloodwood, PET scan. How much crap can they inject me with or make me drink? Never mind. I know the answer to that. Lots. So next week’s specials consist of a repeat MRI because some dummy wasn’t paying attention and took pictures of the wrong body parts. That is an hour I will never get back. Let’s just say my surgeon was not impressed either. So I will be driving to London, an hour away, again for the repeat scan and spend another hour breathing in synch with the loud tunnel machine as it looks at my lovely liver. I hate my liver right now because it seems to like this asshole leech called cancer.  I am going to become one hungry (likely short-tempered) woman because instead of treating myself to lunch after the scan I am restricted to clear fluids only for the next 2 days as I begin the bowel prep for my first ever colonscopy.  If you are looking for me, I will more than likely be within 5 feet of a bathroom.  This is my first ever colonscopy.  I know it seems strange to do this ass-backwards (no punn intended), to be diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer and then 2 years later get a colonscopy, but I am grasping at everything to find all the cancer and get rid of it.  Chances are it’s just in my liver but I’m going hunting for it.    I wonder how much all of these tests are costing?  I imagine in the thousands, but you know what, I am worth it.  Thankfully I live in a country and a province where I do not have the added burden of worrying if I can afford to go on this expedition.  I can’t even go there right now. Sorry for babbling and rambling on, but like I said, I’m still angry.