I am blessed…

Thank you Rick for the best ever night before chemo distraction…. inpromptu trip to Toronto to see Enrique Iglesias & Jennifer Lopez in concert at the ACC!!!! What an amazing show! Sing with me everybody…. Baby I Like It!!!

I probably shouldn’t have been so close to so many thousands of people at the concert because of my weakened immune system, but I put those negative thoughts aside and totally enjoyed myself. We had great seats and could see both artists very well. I think I have a new obsession with two “Rick-eh’s” now. Man can that boy perform! And J.Lo, well, let’s just say that my inner goddess (borrowed this term from the Fifty Shades books) sees herself in a nude coloured heavily rhinestoned uni-tard with a rock hard body and beautiful hair! Despite how I look today and this dreadful disease I am fighting, I do feel beautiful inside and that’s because I feel so blessed.

So before we headed to Toronto to the concert, earlier that morning I was getting my 6 year old niece Brooklyn ready for her day. She spent the day with me the day prior and stayed the night. My sister asked her… “do you want to go to day camp today (complete with splash pads, playground equip, lots of friends, crafts, circle time, etc), or do you want to go to Kucka’s house (me)”? She didn’t hesitate and shouted out “Kucka’s house”. If you are new to my blogging, Kucka is the name that Brooklyn gave to me when she starting learning how to talk. She clearly knows that I am her Aunt Karrie, and so does her little sister DeeDee, but they prefer to call me Kucka and I carry and accept the name with pride!

I tend to ramble and I’m sorry about that. Here’s what my goal is to write about today. Giving and receiving. I find it much easier and much more rewarding to be on the giving end. So it’s hard for me to accept kind gifts and stuff, especially over the top experiences like this concert that Rick and I went to.

Brooklyn still is pretty tiny and does sit in a car seat, always in the back seat. Well, my “cool car” as she calls it, is lacking a few things. No back seats and on nice days, no roof. So I took her for her first ride in the fun car. She was so excited because she told me she had never sat in the front seat before so today was her day to ride shot gun! She sat on a borrowed booster TinkerBell seat which raised her up just enough that she could see through the windshield and out the side door if she stretched a bit. She was so friggin’ cute. Pink ball cap on with pony tail swaying in the back, and butterfly sunglasses. We were quite the pair. It was a very hot humid day and I had some errands to run. I took her to a craft store so that we could pick up something fun to do in the afternoon. Her Mom gave her five bucks to spend on herself so I helped Brooklyn with prices and helped her browse.
“Kucka is this expensive?”, she would ask me. “Do I have enough money?” Every thing that we touched, contemplated and smelled, she always thought of her little sister and wanted to buy something for her as well. We are exactly the same in this aspect and I was gleaming with pride that she was thinking of someone else other than herself, like I always do. You get what you give. I was so pleased with her that I surprised her at the cashier counter and I bought her selected items for her. I told her that I was doing this because she was being very giving and generous with her sister (especially since DeeDee wasn’t spending the day with us) that I was treating her. I hope that will inspire her to keep on thinking this way throughout her entire life. It also made my day when 3 year old little DeeDee called me that night to thank me for the little things that we bought. I only spent 7 dollars, but to them it meant a lot and it meant even more for me.

We returned home from our shopping and along the way, Brooklyn asked me “Kucka, does your car have air conditioning, I’m really hot!”. I obliged, here we are, two hot chicks with the roof down, sipping on cold drinks, with the air conditioning on full blast. Spoiled? Yep.

As I was packing her things up and doing her hair and putting sparkly powder on her arms to get her ready the next morning for day camp, she takes out her five dollar bill out of her little monkey purse, along with two quarters and two pennies, lays them out on the breakfast counter beside her bowl of oatmeal and berries and says to me…”there you go Kucka, here is some money for watching me”…. my heart melted and inside my head I swear that my chin dropped to my knees. I was so touched that she felt that I did a great job spending time with her that she felt the need to reward me with payment of money. Little did she know that I simply felt rewarded the moment that she decided she wanted to hang with me instead of going to day camp with all of her new buddies. Of course I didn’t accept her money, and thanked her for the gesture and thought but told her to keep her money and buy something special for herself instead.

So what do these two days of fun with Brooklyn and the concert surprise with Rick have to do with cancer? Well almost nothing and almost everything. Does that make any sense? Living each day as it comes, whether it’s a healthy day or a feel shitty day, it’s spending time with the people who love you and that you love even more, whether cancer is in the picture or not.