The yucky stuff…

I don’t write about the yuck stuff often, because frankly I have been fairly fortunate with side effects. At least I think so. My home care nurse Nancy came by to the house yesterday to take the chemo infusion pump off. I only vomited once during the 3 days of treatment, unlike the last few rounds, however the nausea was persistent and now I am running to the bathroom dealing with the other end. So fortunate I mention? Yes. As I sat in the chemo waiting area and in the chemo treatment area this round, I particularly paid attention to others around me. I still to this day feel like I am just a visitor at the cancer clinic, not staying long, just give me the poison and send me on my way. I do not belong. First look was at a gentleman across from me. He was about 60 years old and sat with his wife. He was very thin, however his face was terribly swollen (likely side effect of the steroids which I refuse to take) and he just didn’t have the right colour to his skin. As I lay in the bed while my chemo drugs are dripping into me, across from me is another gentleman. He is laying in bed, his wife is hand-feeding him bite by bite and helping him drink with a straw. Is this going to happen to me? Gosh I hope not, but I’m not in denial. I likely will get weaker as I endure each round, but other than the hair loss, the nausea, vomiting and sometimes messing my pants, I really can’t complain.

I don’t even know really what I am writing for today, I guess I just need to vent and I know that you are wondering how I am doing and are here for me to ramble and just to simply listen. Thank you for that.

I have a good tan coming along from getting pool time in, my hair is beyond trying to do anything with it, my smile is still on my face, my guy and my doggie and you are taking great care of my spirit and I will get through this yucky day, no problem. Tomorrow is another day and I plan to make the best of it. xo