I have been keeping this news pretty much to myself for almost two weeks now and yes I do believe it has been on purpose. We heard those incredible words YES YOU ARE IN REMISSION!!!!!! It has taken three incredibly tough years to reach this destination in this crazy unpredictable journey. Part of me still cannot believe it and I guess that selfish little part of me wanted to keep it all inside and not share because if I did tell everyone I was afraid it might leave me and not be this beautiful gift for me. I quickly have realized that this is not a gift for just myself. It is for you also. You earned it too. When I think about it in depth I think that I had the easy part in this. The chemotherapy treatments the radiation, the surgeries, the blood, the sweat, the tears, the vomiting, etc was easy. How can I say or even think this way? Quite easily actually. I really did not have a choice other than to deal with it and endure the tough stuff. You, however did have a choice. You could have ignored the situation. You could have removed yourself from dealing with any of this. But no. You ran toward me to comfort me both emotionally and physically. I am sure you had moments of sadness and grief and total helplessess when you were there with me on my worst days, yet you put on a brave face and kept me going. Even if you weren’t physically with me, I was energized by your emails, your phone calls, your greeting cards, your random actos of kindness, you prayers and the list goes on. You fuelled me. So this gift of remission is just as much yours as it is mine!!! I have always loved giving presents to those I love. This one has to be the best ever!!!!
So I ran away to the beach. I returned home late last night. The trip was booked in advance of my doctor appointment when we would receive the results of the scans post-radiation. This trip was either going to be about digging deeper within myself to continue to endure the medical treatments or it would be about celebrating. Thank you God for this trip of celebration and rejuvenation!
Where did I go? The Gulf Shores. Orange Beach, Alabama. The sugar white sand and miles of beach lined with sea shells was the destination of choice. Rick and I had visited this place last year when we drove down to Key West. I fell in love with this particular beach and because I had an angel experience there, it was a special place for me to have to re-visit at least one more time.
My Mom and my stepDad drove their fifth wheel camper down the week prior to my arrival. They were gracious enough to offer me a place to stay with them. Family time became even sweeter when I convinced my sister to join us. It took more persuading than I thought, and yes, I had to pull the “cancer card” to get her to cave in. It has been over 30 years since we went camping together or actually spent that much time together and it was wonderful. With all of them. I missed Rick and C.J. terribly but the time spent with other family members was precious to me.
Unfortunately I have arrived home with a very nasty cold/flu bug and I am totally drained so I will close this post for now. I plan to share some photos and moments of my trip with you soon.
Basically I just wanted to give you this gift of REMISSION… I hope you like the gift wrapping!