Discussing the future…

Tomorrow, Thurs, November 7 , an important meeting will take place at Save My Ass Inc., however I will not be in attendance.

A number of cancer specialists consisting of oncologists, radiologists, and surgeons referred to as The Tumor Board, will gather together to discuss complicated cases such as ours.  (I guess I should say “mine”, but I have always felt like we are in this together by default)

These medical professionals will collectively brainstorm to determine the best plan for treatment.  I am very grateful that we are being discussed.  To me it means that my primary oncologist is not afraid to seek second opinions for what she feels is the best plan moving forward.  I have always felt that two heads are better than one and if we think about the obvious benefit here, it’s simply that each one of them will bring their past and present successes and failures to the table for discussion.  Brainstorming to give me an opportunity to stay here with you and to keep one step ahead of this hijacker inside me.  Not many patients get these chances, we are lucky.

This is not the first time that this Tumor Board has discussed us.  In fact, I believe it’s the third time.  We benefited from one of the new advances in radiation treatment of liver tumours earlier this year which was a direct result of one of these meetings. 

I wish I could just make a small appearance at the meeting.  I am confident that they all have our best interest at heart, but wouldn’t it be incredible if I could take all of our collective positive energies in that room with me and show them, that we are not weak, we live and breathe happy, focused, determined, energetic and hopeful.  We want to live and will do anything to do so. 

Although I already know that I ooze soul and spirit and if that alone could cure cancer, I would personally knock on every cancer patient’s door and spread the love and motivation.  I am realistic and am constantly reminded that I have no control of when cancer will return again.  All I can do is stay positive, nourish my body, mind and spirit and trust in the powers that be.

Last week I learned that the ovarian mass tested positive for malignancy which just confirmed what we already knew before surgery.  The good news is that it isn’t a new primary cancer, meaning it isn’t ovarian cancer, but rather a metastatic cancer from the original bowel cancer.  The fallopian tubes, uterus, cervix and omentum all were free of any signs of cancer.  The mass was contained an successful removed.  My bloodwork (CEA level, cancer marker) came in as undetectable levels.  So this is where the question arises.  Do we knock me down with chemotherapy and radiation as a preventive measure since no signs of cancer are there at the present, or do we wait and see and treat when it returns?

I personally would like to wait until the new year before making any decision, to give my body a couple of months to regenerate strength and to give my head a break.  I could possibly be gambling as I have witnessed patients dying within weeks of diagnosis, but I have to trust my gut instinct here, I trust I will be okay.  I love feeling good and just want to enjoy it for awhile.  I feel better now than I have in a long time, despite this big operation only 6 weeks ago. 

I accept each and every day with grace, even the tough days.  So with that said, I will be graceful and patient and will calmly wait for a couple of weeks before I learn the results of this meeting.