Archive for June 5th, 2010

Life in the fast lane…

Saturday, June 5th, 2010

Surgery #2 is fast approaching so I have been busy trying to fit in my “to do’s” before I am forced to take it easy during recovery.  I can handle the surgery, the staples in my abdomen, the nasty road map of more scars, the pain and the medical stuff… what’s hard for me is the anxiety part…  trying not to think “am I going to wake up to more bad news?”  I have dealt with a terminal diagnosis, but my timeline has been … let’s say…. negotiable. (that’s the way I am looking at it)  The doctors told me I have 2 years left of living after discovering the cancer on Dec 14, 2009….. crap… I have used up a big part of that 2 year period already…. the past 6 months have passed so quickly.

I keep saying to myself…. as long as I wake up from surgery… I can handle the rest.  Let’s hope I can walk the talk.

Life was sure in the fast lane yesterday (and I love it)…  my home nurse was due to visit me at 10 am.

So before 10:00 am hit, I had vacuumed the pool, did a load of laundry, cleaned up the kitchen, cleaned up the bathroom, showered, fed breakfast to myself and to C.J., swept the pool deck and cut the grass.   When my nurse Vanessa arrived for my weekly check up, my blood pressure was normal.  Now that’s the Karrie I know.  No time for cancer, and no time to be a “patient” just yet.  Vanessa left at 10 am., and my neighbour Sher met us at the front door.  It was time for Sher to take me for a walk.  Exercise is good and I love the fresh air.  Rick calls my friends “babysitters”… I think it’s funny.  I am very strong right now since chemo break started on April 15.   Sher gave me a ride to the office so I could share lunch with Cindy & Andrea (it was Andrea’s last day of work for start of summer break), Rick met us at the restaurant too.  Sher treated me to my first porche ride !   A beautiful little black convertible masterpiece.  Thank you Sher !  For a few moments on the short ride, I kind of felt like Thelma & Louise. Needless to say that Cindy & Andrea were surprised to see us pull up in the sporty car.  I arrived back home after lunch out and spent the rest of the afternoon in the pool with another “babysitter”, Wendy, a dear friend.  On Wendy’s way home, I asked her to take me to emerg. because my family doc was on fasttrack duty…earlier in the morning I woke up to strange spots/blisters on my face so I went to seek treatment, turns out it’s just a random infection I attracted as my immune system is low (this kind of thing was not in any of the fine print that I received in chemo training, ughhNew june C 2006 002), oh well, I got the medical crap out of the way during this busy day of mine and then I headed off to a late dinner with Rick… got home at 9 pm, it was raining by then, had to put my lawn mower away and bring in my gardening play shoes and realized I needed to head back out again to get my prescription filled.  Bed time soon approached and another day in the fast lane was complete.  I imagine the next couple of weeks will be much like yesterday.  I like it, like being busy, the time will come soon enough when I have to deal with cancer again when surgery day arrives, and after my incision heals it’s back on the chemo train for another 3 months minimum.  I am hoping we can do chemo longer so I can zap the crap out the cancerous cells looming in my body.  I want to prove who is boss in this “relationship”, sorry… no equal partners here… you are not invited… you meaning cancer.

Well it’s about time…

Saturday, June 5th, 2010

Yeah !!!  I finally figured out how to add photos to my posts.

I am embarassed to admit that I am technically challenged. 

I hate reading instructions,  I would rather have teeth pulled with no freezing.

I get so frustrated and so impatient so I do it the hard way ( I have a bad habit of doing things the hard way, just ask Rick, it drives him absolutely nuts !)  LOL !   I just played around with the web site until I got it.  Hope to share some more pics with you soon.  Text alone can be quite boring and we all know that pictures say a thousand words.  I’ll keep working at it.

This picture was taken on my 40th birthday, which was also Mother’s Day this year.  It was quite a special day.

I was my Mom’s first baby, and I was born the day before Mother’s Day…. just in time !  Love you Mom!

This photo screams “girl power” to me.  Lots of strong women in this pic.

From left to right…. my Mom LynIMGP0259May 9 -2010, Aunt Sue, me (sporting a new wig), my baby sis Cindy, Aunt Ricki and of course two of my beautiful nieces, Kennedy and Brooklyn.  The teddy bear that Brooklyn is holding is a special gift that Mom had made special for me.  You see, my Mom’s Mom (my Meme, Hazel Tanner) passed away 5 years ago.  We were very close.  She was my second Mommy.  She lived with us for many years and she was a person that was “always there” for me.

My grandfather whom I never got to meet (he passed away when my Mom was a teenager), gifted my grandmother a beautiful mink shawl in the early years of their marriage.  It was extremely special and sentimental to my grandmother.   Mom decided to have this beautiful fur piece made into this teddy bear for me so that I will have something from Meme to comfort me and to remember her in a special way.  Included with this bear was the last gift that I had given to Meme, which Mom wanted to return to me.  It was a bottle of her favourite perfume.  So whenever I need to be with Meme for support on this new journey of mine, I spray a little of the perfume on my mink bear, take a big sniff and a little snuggle to have something to hold on to and Meme is with me, and more than just in spirit.  The picture on the right is the last photo we had taken with Meme, one month before she passed away at 92 yrs. of age.  My brother Dave and sister Cindy are included in this photo.  Rest in peace Meme.  One day I will see you again with open arms.

Isn’t that just ducky…

Saturday, June 5th, 2010

I have some new pets.  Two of them.  They don’t know I have adopted them.

Meet Mr and Mrs Mallard Ducky.  I don’t know if they are dating or married, or maybe just happily “un-married” like two other people I know very well?  (LOL !)

They have been enjoying the pool lately. 

They are beautiful to watch.  Mister is getting quite confident lately.

He is not bothered by my golden retriever C.J.  any more.

When C.J. and I come outside, Mister just hangs around and keeps on sunning his buns or swimming along like he owns the place!   It’s okay by me…. I take it as a compliment.  I work very hard in my backyard retreat, so if he thinks it’s a comfortable setting to bring his best girl for a date,  I can certainly share.  The bunnies like to eat some of my flowers and the squirrels re-plant my plant bulbs in different areas every year, so if I can share with them, then Mister & Missy are quite welcome to join in also.  “Mr. C” …. my resident Cardinal is loudly chirping calling for his mate at the moment, and yep, I am thinking to myself…. I miss Rick.  He has been working so hard and really long hours.  I wish he was here right now sharing this serene moment with me, doing absolutely nothing but hanging out in the yard, stress free.   Life isn’t fair.

Well, quiet time is over, if Rick is working than I am too….  I am picking myself up and going to get busy around the house & yard and make myself useful.Karrie May 13 2010 d