A fine line…

Dear Cancer,

It’s been a while since we last “connected”…. chatted, just isn’t the right word choice, I prefer connected.

You have been the farthest thing from my mind until today.  You are a coward.  I hate you.  You are miserable, you are hurting me and everyone I love and I have no room for your hatred & destruction in my life.  I am even more prepared this morning, full attack mode, to prove to you once again that you shouldn’t have messed with us.  Dr. Quan and his team are coming.  I know, you thought I gave in because I quit chemo for a few weeks.  I have felt your little happy dances from time to time, you foolishly thinking you are winning….. SURPRISE !!!!   It’s not happening.  I will never give in to you.  This is “relay for life”, not “relay for cancer”.  Get the point yet?  Even if I wake up to more bad news this afternoon, I’m not done with you yet.  I hope you hurt as much as we do.  There is a fine line between love and hate.  I hate you for the obvious reasons.  I will never love you, but what I do love is the fact that you have made me embrace myself, unleashed a beast in my head that gives me the drive and determination to fight for myself and everyone in my life, and especially my “other” earth angels, strangers that I continue to meet on a daily basis that come to me to keep me on this path to destroy you.  I will always look for them.   

ps.  They hate you too.