I am the oldest of 3 children.  Yep, I’m the old boring one, the 40 year old that never smoked, never did drugs, falls asleep if too much alcohol consumed, yes I agree, kind of boring, I wish now that I had experimented more when I was young and foolish with no “real life” issues to deal with.  (maybe I would have been better equipped to handle the morphine pump last week, I was told that I was really “out of it”)  I had to talk with my visitors with my eyes closed because the room and the divider curtains were spinning out of control, but hey, I was pain free.

I have one brother, Dave, he is 5 years younger than me.  No matter how old we get, I will always call him “Davey”.  I’m sure he hates it, but after all, he is my little brother and always will be.  When we were little and shared the same home, I admit I couldn’t stand him…(I am sure he hated me too).  He was so hyperactive and he was the only person on earth that could push me to the edge on a daily basis, sometimes several times a day.  I swear he made a game out of it just to see how fast he could make me snap.  He would bring out the beast deep within me and then he would laugh.  Ugh.  We had the usual sibling fights, hair pulling, punching, lots of crying, tattle tales, but we stood by each other when one of us found out where Mom stashed the cookies.  One day out of nowhere, he grew up.  (I guess we both grew up) Literally, he grew from a tiny little boy to a young man taller than me and stronger than me.  He could run faster, hit harder and I knew I wouldn’t win.   Now that we are older I admit that I love him very much and that I actually envy him.   I look up to him and I am very proud of him.   He has a zest for life that I wish I had.  Since as long as I can remember, he has always “lived for the moment” and would deal with any consequences that came his way “after the fact”.   One example is when I gave him my first car, (after I drove it for a few years) a 1980 Mustang that I purchased on my own when I was 15 years old for a whopping $900.00  I used all my corn detasseling and field money that I earned during the summer months.  Dad brought this car to brand new shape, it changed from burgundy to white, we added a sun-roof, new tires & rims, tinted windows, ground effects, a spoiler on the back trunk, it was awesome for a 15 year old girl’s first car.  (I didn’t even have my driver’s license yet)  I would help  Dad out in the shop and wore down my fingerprints with sanding the fenders, etc.  Anyway, I bought my next car when I turned 22, my brother would have been 17 or 18….. so I gave him the mustang.  Long story short, Dave enjoyed the car and driving around with his guy friends, he would burn rubber out of our driveway just to make noise and because “he could”.  Smoke would be every where.  Our house was the one with all of the black tire marks on the road in front of it.   One day when I was visiting home, Dave had decided to spray paint the car.  Keep in mind that the car was starting to show it’s age and abuse and I wasn’t emotionally attached to it anymore, but he had painted on it “O.P.P. can’t catch me”.   Wow… who does that?  I can answer that for you…. my brother.  Come to think of it, this reminds me of the current decal he has on the back of his truck right now that reads “Fuck Cancer”… it’s big and it gets the point across, he does what he feels and like I mentioned, I envy him. He is also a hard worker.  He owns Roy’s Auto Repair, a great mechanic that does not need to advertise, business comes his way by word of mouth.  He is fast and great at what he does.  He is taller than me, he is handsome, married and a father of two.  I get along well with his wife Michelle and I love being an Aunt to his son Austin (8) and his daughter Caelen (6).   Dave & Michelle treated me to a delicious lunch out today which was really nice because the walls at home seem to closing in on me lately.  Maybe one day I will join him as he jumps off of his garage roof and into his pool (14 ft high)…yikes!   Again, who does that?  I can tell you… my brother.

ps.    Dear Davey… I stopped hating you a very long time ago, I love you little brother.

I have one sister, Cindy, she is 10 years younger than me.  Because of the big age difference we never had the typical fights that Davey and I did.  However Davey & Cindy were at each other a lot.  I moved into my first apartment an hour away from home when I was 18 years old.  I was ready to start life on my own and was trying to figure out “what I wanted to be”.  It wasn’t until I was in my mid 20’s and purchased my first home that I realized that my baby sister was only 8 years old when I moved out.  I felt so bad that I missed a lot of firsts… her first date, her first time driving, etc.  I still feel quilty to this day that I wasn’t physically there for her.  To top it off, our parents split up when she was just 10 years old.  I am sure that she could have used the support of her older sister, but I was not there.  I am sorry Cindy.  Now many years later we have a great relationship, and we are very close.  She is smart, funny, short and pretty, she can’t sing very well, but she gives it her all.  She is creative, energetic and shares a love of gardening like me.  She is also a very hard worker.  She is married to Shane and I love being an Aunt to their two daughters, Brooklyn (4) and Kennedy (1).  Cindy is a great Mom.  This year we both shared milestone birthdays… she turned 30 and I turned 40….. boy where did the years go?  I look up to my sister in many ways, and here I thought that since I was the oldest, I was to be the one to “set a good example”.  I am proud of her and so very grateful that she has been able to take over for me at work so that I can concentrate on kicking cancer.  I would be in a very tough place right now if it weren’t for my sister.  Yesterday she spent the afternoon with me, she drove me to London for a doctor appointment and it was nice to share some sister time together, away from work. 

ps.  Dear Cindy, I love you too, and thank you.

I am looking forward to a family barbeque this weekend at Davey’s.

IMG_0109DSC04982Cindy & Karrie Oct 2008