A huge sigh…

Since diagnosis day 6 months ago I literally feel as if I have been holding my breath in, it makes it easier to absorb news and accept the rotten blow to come next. 

Well on Thurs July 22, during my follow up visit with Dr. Quan my surgeon, he reviewed the pathology report with me.  This report was from the testing that was done on the liver portion that he removed from me.  Let’s just say, I was able to finally breathe and shed a few tears in disbelief.  How could it be that I was just given the best news ever?!  Yes, everyone, I am so elated to report that we were told there were NO SIGNS OF CANCER in the part of the liver that was removed !!!!   I have been doing cartwheels in my head ever since he told us and as soon as I am physically able I am going to do actual cartwheels all the way down my street and I don’t care who is watching and what they will think, or whether is raining out or too humid out.   Wouldn’t it be cool if some of my neighbours actually joined in?  Seriously now, I am going to do it !

He removed 70% of the liver and from prior testing it had 3 tumours in it.  Due to their size, my age, my health, etc, I was a candidate for surgery.  I have researched a lot on the web and time over time I have read that basically only about 20% of people in my exact situation are eligible for surgery, most people are in-operable.  I feel I hit a jackpot.

He also told us that when he was checking over the other remaining liver portion when he had me opened up, he could not physically see or feel the tumour that was on that side!   Dr. Quan told us that this news could be the result of 2 different scenarios of which we may never know.  This is what he told Rick and I.     

Option # 1…  the tumours they saw on the CT scan initially were something other than tumours and weren’t cancer at all and basically he may have removed my liver for nothing and the surgery could have been avoided….  (yes he said this and I am glad that he did, he is HONEST AND HUMAN)

Option #2… the chemo did it’s job after only 6 treatments and only half way through my total scheduled treatment regimen.

I truly believe that option #2 is the scenario that belongs to me.  All prior testing including bloodwork, scans, etc.  all pointed toward metastatis to the liver.  I have been lucky to receive a new drug along with my chemo cocktail which is called “Avastin”.  This drug basically just started being covered by OHIP about 30 days prior to my first scheduled chemo treatment.  I hit another jackpot there too !  Long story short, the Avastin is an antibody drug that basically cuts the blood supply to tumours.  I truly believe that this along with the chemo is what did the job.  I still have to meet with my oncologist to find out what the next course of action is.  I am hoping that she tells me that we continue the remaining 6 chemo treatments as I want to destroy any other microscopic cancer crap that may be lingering throughout my body.  In fact, I would do another 12 treatments just for insurance if she would allow me, but your body can become immune to chemo if over-treated.

I am so very happy to share this incredible news with you.  It doesn’t mean that I am cancer free as it can re-appear in my colon or other organs, but I am taking one step at a time.  (us cancer patients are told that we cannot be deamed cancer-free until we have survived 5 years post treatment).  In reality though, it doesn’t matter if I am given 2 years or 30 years, I will always consider myself as living with cancer.  It will never escape my mind.

I wish I had 2 arms that extended for miles and miles so that I could gather each one of you in one giant group hug.  You all have “hugged” me since December and I want to re-pay the favour.  The power of our spirits and souls as a collective is what shows cancer who is in the driver’s seat.  Thank you so much for your love, support, friendship and prayers!

Today I feel like I am driving in a sporty convertible car, singing along to some very loud high energy dance music, driving extremely fast in the Nevada desert with no one but me and this car for miles and miles…..and not thinking twice about my passenger “cancer” who is scared shitless and looks at me in disbelief when I open up the passenger door and kick him out!   See ya, wouldn’t want to be ya!  Hope you get a bad case of road rash and become so unrecognizable and hit the pavement so hard that you remain in a coma forever and never high-jack my “ride” again!     Eat dust asshole and enjoy the smell of rubber as I skid my tires and do doughnuts around you!  I am skidding my tires right now and when these rubbers run out, there are many stores where I can get more, cuz you know what?  I like to drive !

ps.   I am really refraining from typing a crap load of really bad words right now… so I can continue my conversation with cancer, however I will let you fill in the blanks yourself, trust me, it’s a great release and you also can benefit from “a huge sigh”.   IMG_9770