A new me…

The last two weeks have been a good two weeks.  I am getting strength back and I am starting to feel like myself again, the self that doesn’t sit still… however the “new me” listens to my body when it starts talking to me.  (and it talks more than I like it to, but I stop and smell the roses so to speak when I have to)  I am keeping busy and working on building some more strength yet so I can get into exercise mode.  I met with a few doctors last week.

Family doctor – for bloodwork check up (I thought it might be a good idea to ask for this since I was given a transfusion of 7 units of blood during liver surgery… note our bodies consist of 10 to 12 units, so 7 units is quite a bit, hope I got some good stuff, we’ll see !)  I also booked a mammogram….. will be my first one ever… yikes, I hear it’s like placing your boob under a car tire… oh well…. has to be better than being told I have cancer there too.

Surgeon #1 who performed my bowel surgery in Dec. —- had a great check up with him…. he told me that I have become a medical question mark ( I like this…. keep all these doctors guessing ! )  if all goes well, meaning if my bloodwork for CEA levels (cancer markers) and if the CT scan next month has good results, then I will be preparing for surgery #3 to put me “back together” again in Jan or Feb !    This will be another major surgery, but hey, it will be a happy one for me!  My doctor asked me if I could lose an additional 20 lbs before then, and I replied back, sure how about 30 instead?  I put a smile on a face that doesn’t smile too easily… I think he’s getting to know me.  He says every time he gets paper work and updates sent to him he calls them “the latest chapters”. 

Oncologist says that she stands behind my decision to wait and see about continuing chemo until we see the results from the CT scan in October.  She has told me a couple of times that I am “an amazing woman”.  Should I take this as a compliment or should I over-think why she says this to me?   I don’t see the amazing part.  I am just in “screw cancer” mode and that’s all there is to it. 

So the next four weeks I am considering as “me time”, not “cancer time”.  I am eating healthier and wiser than I have ever done in the past.  I am exercising every day, low impact still, but I am now able to do laps in the pool and I am walking.   I can’t wait to get back to Zumba class.  If anyone knows of a dragonboat team that is looking for a team-mate, I would be very interested.  This is something that has always interested me but I never acted on it.   No time like the present to start because technically I might be dead in a year and 3 months. 

So wish me luck…. I am not going to think about “stuff” until I have to swallow that yucky liquid on scan day !

Dear Cancer:   I am still not ready to communicate with you, but I do plan to write you another letter.  You see I am too busy dealing with me.  I have become high-maintenance, not you.