My extreme makeover…

Well, I certainly have received an extreme makeover.  It wasn’t planned, it completely caught me off-guard, I guess we can call it “an ambush”. 

I wake up each morning with a dose of reality that starts each day off the same.  I think to myself, oh yeah, you have cancer, it wasn’t a dream, get over it and just accept it, you will always wake up to the same reality.  Ughh.  I tell myself, shake it off, put your big girl panties on and make the most of your day.  You are lucky to be annoyed with the stupid alarm clock, it beats the alternative of never being awakened at all, right?  Get your ass in gear…. and with those brief thoughts, I also think to myself…. which version of Karrie am I going to be today?  Which exterior look best suits my mood?  Which makeover option will it be?   I kind of laugh about it sometimes…. you see…. cancer has many faces, just with mine alone.  I thought it would be kind of fun to show you all the versions.  The last picture shows that my hair is growing back and yes, my natural colour is brunette for those of you that only know me as a blonde.  This is the “real” me.  I am still self-conscious to go out without a bandana, a hat or a wig, not because I am vain, but simply because it hurts my spirit to look in the mirror and not to have the “pre-diagnosis” me looing back at myself.  This is something I struggle with, but I am getting better.  This photo is the first time I am revealing “re-growth”.  It’s ironic that the “re-growth” needs to start from the inside/out, but I’m working on it.  I know that no-one cares what the outer version of me is, this is just something that I need to get better at accepting.

DSC03017IMG_9692Apr 21-2010 a