The waiting game…

has begun again.  I went to London today for CT scans of my chest, abdomen and pelvis.  Normally I have this done at the hospital that the Cancer Clinic is located at, however they called me yesterday and said that their equipment is down and they rescheduled me to go to another hospital, which turns out to be the one where my liver resection was performed.  I know my way around 3 hospitals in London now, so it wasn’t a big deal.  I actually kind of like that the scans were done at a different location this time, because it means that a new pair of eyes will be reading and interpreting them and the radiologist won’t likely have my previous scans to compare today’s data with.  It could be a good thing, right?  I am going to be hopeful as always.  The screw cancer attitude has worked so far.  Oh yeah, the usual treatment for the scans was as predicted by having to strip down to the most stylish hospital issue gown and pants that don’t match and one size fits all.  So flattering!   Also had to drink a large container of radioactive kucka. (They call it contrast dye)   I thought that was the worst of it, until I got into the room with the scanning equipment.  There on the pillow was this small container (thank God it was small, about 6 mouthfuls), of this white pudding she called it, more like swallowing 6 mouthfuls of white congealed glue.  Yuck!  I kept burping all the way out in the parking lot.  Gross.  Haven’t had that experience before, but I am learning that each hospital has their own way of doing things, and it all relates to the mighty dollar.  So is the glue the cheap stuff or is it the Cadillac of yuck?

So two and a half hours later, the scan was completed.  Thank you to my dear friend Wendy to coming with me today and for her patience and for babysitting my purse and my clothing.   It’s so nice to have a distraction from the seriousness of things.  We both talk a lot and I love her to pieces.  She makes me laugh.  I remember I said to her while we were in the waiting room.  I don’t feel like I belong here, this place is for sick people.   (I know I am a dumb ass, technically I am sick, remembering the terminal diagnosis, but I am convincing myself and my world that I am not sick)

We took my Solstice today, I was hoping the weather would be nice so we could cruise with the top down, but it was cold and rainy so riding topless would have to be rescheduled to the next trip.   Bummer.

We also went to the other hospital across the city so that I could get poked again in the other arm this time for some bloodwork.  The CEA marker blood test. (tumor marker test).  This blood test can detect cancer in your body when tumours might be too small to register on the scans, kind of like a back up.  We were in and out.  The parking attendant didn’t even charge us for parking.  I joked to Wendy and said now that’s how I like to deal with this cancer shit, I don’t have time for it.  Let’s get in and out of here,  calling ticket #4, quick poke with a needle, a little white cotton ball & tape on my arm, quick trip to the bathroom and out the door.   Now that’s how we do it!   Where shall we go for lunch?  I’m starving.  (you can’t eat or drink anything 4 hours before your scans)…. it’s now after 1:00 pm.   I am now a breakfast eater and hadn’t eaten since I awoke this morning at 6:10, getting kind of dizzy, sluggish.

After a delicious lunch of garden salad with blackberry vinaegrette dressing and green tea we stopped at of couple of places for some retail therapy and headed home for the hour’s drive.   Now the waiting game begins for the results.  It usually takes about a week or so.  I will have to drive back to London to meet with my oncologist again to find out what the results are.  The last time I saw her, she said I looked absolutely beautiful and to keep doing whatever I was doing.  I hope she says the same thing this time, but I can’t help but wonder constantly if and when I am going to hear those words…. you are toast, we cannot help you.   Ughhh…. buzz off cancer brain.  Tick, tock, tick, tock…..