In light of recent news of learning that cancer has returned, I have been forced to re-live some of the past. My near future will likely consist of the experiences of the next few posts I have written after this one. I decided to post a photo of my pre-cancer self. The part of me that actually had cancer, felt absolutely great and had no idea of what was lurking inside me. I stare at this picture at times because I draw strength from it, and to be honest, I miss this old me sometimes, the me before the ambush makeover happened.
Archive for February 19th, 2012
My fight began here. Dec 14, 2009. What does the photo below say? It says… Merry Christmas, you have cancer. The operation was successful. We removed many inches of your large colon. You have a colostomy. We are going to run more tests to confirm if it has spread to your liver. Which cancer clinic do you prefer? We will get in touch with them to begin your chemotherapy treatment as soon as possible. We will arrange for a home care nurse for you. You should be home in time for Christmas.
So what is the woman in the photo saying? I can tell you exactly what is running through her mind. “Are you talking about me? I was just constipated that’s all.”
Operation #2 in June 2010 after 6 rounds of chemotherapy. Removal of 70% of my liver and my gallbladder went along with it. I didn’t handle the morphine very well, my incision split open with delayed healing, I developed an internal hematoma (collection of fluid) near my kidney area that was extremely painful but it went away after a couple of weeks so they didn’t have to asperate it by inserting a drainage tube into my abdomen. I still have some issues today from this operation as far as abdominal strength, but I don’t regret having the surgery to get rid of more cancer and buy myself some time. This incision is also huge and travels horizontly in an upside down V across my abdomen. At this time I still have the colostomy and hoping for better days and better health so I can have it reversed. I am scheduled to finish up the remaining 6 rounds of chemotherapy once my incision heals. Oh joy. Now with both of my incisions my tummy looks like a road map. A big arrow pointing upwards. I call it my highway to heaven.
This photo was taken March 2nd, 2011… the day I was being released from hospital after operation #3. I was so excited to have the colostomy reversed succesfully, now I can poop and toot like everyone else! The way we were born to! Take that cancer, I’m being cut open on my terms, not yours. This body belongs to me. My appendix was also removed at this time, doc said it was in his way and I didn’t need it anyway. He removed it to save me any issues in the future. You can’t see it here because of the huge smile on my face, but I am in great pain with a huge vertical incision from my lower rib area down to you know where. Also a horizontal incision beside my belly button about 5 inches long where my colostomy was. The best words to describe this photo…. ” I am beating cancer!” and “Hurts so good”