A survivor is a triumphant person who lives with, after, or in spite of a diagnosis or traumatic event. Survivors refuse to assume the identity of their adversity. They are not imprisoned by the constructs of a label. Instead, survivors use their brush with mortality as a catalyst for creating a better self. We transform our experience in order to further evolve spiritually, emotionally, phsyically, and mentally. Our reality challenges us to go deeper. Survivors cultivate an essence that will never be victim to a word. (Inspired by the book of Crazy Sexy Cancer Survivor)
Fri. Dec. 14, 2012….I woke up this morning with a huge exhale, physical yes, but most importantly a mental exhale. It was exactly 3 years ago today that I woke up from an un-expected surgery and Rick was right there by my side holding my hand and he had to do the unimaginable thing. He was the one that told me those three dreadful words, you have cancer. Although I was just coming out of the anesthetic I remember that night so clear, like it just happened yesterday. I had no idea that night just how serious or how sick I was. I remember the next morning when my family physician came in to see me. I asked her “how bad is this?” She held me hand and said, “Karrie, it’s very bad, I am so sorry”.
Well enough of that scary talk and memories, fast forward to the present day and here I am! Feeling like I am still climbing a huge mountain, but I am alive, I am challenging those damn statistics and doctors are still offering me options. I am a survivor. What more could I possibly need or want? Absolutely nothing! Thank you to God, my family, my friends, doctors, nurses, specialists, modern technology, advanced new research, new cancer drugs and treatments, strangers that reach out to me and especially my partner Rick who deals with me and this cancer crap each and every day. Without all of you to be the wind beneath my wings to carry me through the tough times and the easier times I don’t believe I would be here today to celebrate this special day! Happy Survivor Day!
I went to the cancer clinic 2 days ago to begin preparation for radiation to start. I had yet another specialized CT scan and several tattoo markings on my tummy to outline where we are going to burn this thing! The tattoos are only the size of a freckle, which I have an abundance of already. How boring. I was hoping for a big EFF U on my adbomen. The nurse says “this will sting as I puncture your skin”. I replied with “are you kidding me, you see those huge scars right? This is small potatoes, no sweat”. She laughed and said she loved my spirit because she sees many patients that cringe at the sight of any needles. She said she especially liked the scar from my liver surgery. She called it the Big V for VICTORY. I joked back and told her the pressure was on, she has to do her job and get rid of this tumour for me. She promised to do her best and that’s all I can ask.
My doctor came in during the scan and lined me all up and assisted with the special mold that I will lay in to keep me very still. My arms will be above my head for each radiation treatment and I will not be able to move at all. Let’s just say the trial run was okay except for the part where I am totally immobile and here is where the itchy nose starts. Ugh. The nurses are so nice, they scratch the itchies for me.
Well today is just another ordinary day and I am so thankful for that. I will be able to enjoy yet another Christmas with my family and then I start back to work at Save My Ass Inc. on Dec. 28, my first date for radiation and another new journey in this fight for life.