Well, I hope you are sitting down, because I am about to blow your mind!
Repeat after me.
Total cancer wipe out.
Yes, I have to keep repeating this to myself too!!! It has been an incredible, long three and a half years of stress beyond anything imaginable, but hearing those words from my doctor “you have made me the happiest doctor in the whole clinic today” has made it all worth while!
My smart-ass self replied with “does that mean you are about to make me the happiest patient in the clinic today?”, and he replied “yes” and with a high five. My other oncologist actually hugged me. That is my kind of medicine! God I feel great!!! I don’t have to go back for any more tests for 3 months. No medicine, no nothing!!!!
There I go, pinching myself again. Yes, this is all real. It is not a dream.
A good kind of ouchie.
I learned this news last Tues May 21st and it has taken me until now to come down from the clouds to sit my butt down to share the news. Mind you we have been sharing with everyone we see, but for you who I don’t see, I am so sorry to leave you hanging. So one of the oncologists told me that whatever I am doing, to simply do MORE of it. Again I couldn’t resist and I asked him if he could write me a prescription for six month stay in Maui. ( I can’t wait to tell you about my recent trip to Hawaii, another reason I haven’t written lately, sorry I was too busy swimming with sea turtles!!!)
So what’s next?
That is a loaded question for sure!
My job at Save My Ass Inc. is ever-evolving. I must be sharp, willing to put in the hours, and do whatever necessary to avoid a hostile take-over again. My spirit was severly bruised, broken and battered back in Dec 2009 when I heard those three awful words. However, I dug deep, so deep within my very core, to a place I had never visited before. My physical and mental limits were tested greatly. I learned real quick that I had to trust myself, love myself more than ever. I had to learn to become even more focused and determined than usual, traits that come natural to me, thankfully. I had to learn to put my needs before other’s and to adjust to the guilt of doing so. Now that the medical part of this position of mine as top dog is not requiring so much of my attention, I can focus even greater on my new role.
I hate titles or labelling, so let’s just say that my new role is a goal. A goal to be the ultimate healthy person. A goal to hear a doctor one day five years from now, tell me that I am cured. A cancer patient must be cancer-free for five years before we can claim that we are cured. So it isn’t going to be easy, but being able to say that I am in remission still is enough for me to keep moving forward and beyond. I am totally up for the challenge, I will not only be a survivor, but a THRIVER!!! No negotiations. I want nothing more than for someone who has gone through what I have to look at my journey and to convince themselves to never give up. Yes, I did. I turned a “you will be lucky to survive 9 months” into “there are no signs of cancer, anywhere”.
More veggies please! Juice that is. Veggie juice. 100% veggies. That’s it. My medicine of choice. My daily regime has not changed. I am drinking 1 to 2 litres of green whoop-ass every day. I have been doing this since mid-January and when I miss a dose of juice, my body let’s me know. It drags, it aches, it’s just in low gear. Every time I go to the grocery store, someone comments on my cart and my choices.
“Wow you eat healthy!”, and I reply, “I feel healthy”, and I put extra emphasis on the word feel, as if it has 6 letter e’s instead of 2.
Yes, I do eat food too, but mostly real food like salads, fruit, more veggies, etc. Funny you question this, because my doctor said to me (even though he totally supports my juicing), if you wake up one day and decide you want to eat donuts all day long, then just do it. You don’t have to be perfect, and better yet, I don’t want you to stress yourself about losing weight, it’s better that you are not thin. I wished he had whispered this in a soft voice so that my sugar monster wouldn’t hear him. Ughh.
All joking aside, I must be real and thank you for your continued support, your prayers, your positive vibes and fist pumps, your hugs, your cards, flowers, treats, etc. I have not made it here alone. It has taken a village and I promise to keep this village dancing, paying it forward to everyone that crosses my path. I am going to be very busy and I cannot wait to go to work every day. The pay cheque of great health, glowing bright eyes and the smile on your face is so worth it!
I love you from the bottom of my heart.
ps. Dear Cancer, I told you so.
(in my efforts to not say bad words as much anymore….. insert image of my middle finger only pointing upwards)