Do you know what excites me? What empowers me? What gives me goosies all over?
My journey in cancerland has been one unpredictable, challenging, life altering experience. Each and every day I experience many emotions, many tests, many “life happens” moments, just like you do. However, I see every thing and every person I encounter with cancer eyes…. meaning to look for the positive in every situation. I am no longer a negative nitty. No matter what I encounter, I have to search for the lighter side. Cancer feeds on negativity, feeds on stress, feeds on poor food choices, feeds on sugar, feeds on ugly.
But I fuel me with empowerment. I look in the mirror and don’t see the ugly, damaged, scarred body where cancer has left it’s mark time and time again. I see a beautiful body that has an undeniable incredible ability to heal itself. It responds to all the positive charges of energy that I provide it, much like the sun provides life to the very plants that I consume. Living foods mean a living body. I am proof. Who knows, maybe one day I will be disharged from the cancer clinic. That is my ultimate goal, to cure myself. For now, I will continue to address my body’s needs one day at a time, slow but sure. We all know that the tortoise is the one who wins the race in the end. It didn’t happen overnight to become this ill, so it’s not going to happen overnight to become well again.
My biggest reward other than waking each morning to a brand new day to continue my healing journey, is that I have learned that in taking good care of myself, I have inspired others to do the same. I certainly wasn’t expecting this, but what a great gift. Others are seeing how well I look these days, how I bounce back after each surgery, each treatment. Do you have any idea how empowering this is. that a stage 4 terminal cancer patient is being looked at as a source for improving eating habits? Wow. I am honoured.
At a family dinner, I apologized to my Aunt that I wasn’t eating what everyone else was, feeling bad that my special diet requirements were extra work. Her reply? “What are you apologizing for? You keep doing what you are doing, because I believe you are saving us a lot of pain.” I felt empowered. I learned something that day. Never to apologize for doing what’s best for me and making my health and myself a priority. There is no shame in that.
A friend sends me a card, just because she was thinking about me. It was full of little angel shaped confetti with an inspirational note. I felt empowered.
My nephew who is approaching 12 yrs of age, says to me “you know what Aunt Karrie? It’s my turn to sleep over at your house”” I felt empowered.
My Mom stated to me “I am so proud of all three of my kids for many different reasons and Karrie, I am so proud of how you have handled your fight, your disease”. I felt empowered.
A nurse that treated me in my first year of this journey sent me a little request “my brother-in-law has been diagnosed with cancer and he could really use some positive reinforcement, I wonder who that could be?” I felt empowered.
A friend sends me a text message that she is adding more veggies to her diet and starting to drink green tea. I felt empowered.
A friend that I haven’t seen since elementary school, and recently reconnected with, asks me for advice because she has been feeling unwell and in her words “has to see a poop doctor”. I felt empowered.
A childhood friend that has just purchased a juicer for herself because she has been inspired with my posts about my veggie juice posts. She wants to feel better and in her words “glow like I do”. I felt empowered.
Transitioning my eating habits from vegetarian to vegan. Although I’m at about 80% there, I feel empowered by my own drive and determination. It has not waivered although it has been severely tested.
My best friend emailed me with a note stating that I am her hero. I felt empowered.
My house guest this week, little Maggie, my Mom’s beloved Maltese-poodle mix, sits on my lap for cuddles and companionship and sleeps all night with me. I felt empowered.
My sister that took a day off of work without pay to spend time with me, I felt empowered.
My brother who sent me a photo of a snow angel that he made while on a snowmobiling trip with his buddies. I felt empowered.
My neighbour that also made me a snow angel on the same day. I felt empowered.
A former customer of where I worked that met me at the grocery store and simply asked if he could hug me. I felt empowered.
A friend approached me, stressed and very depressed. Said she felt like giving up, life was too hard to cope, her thoughts took her to me and my situation. She said to me in her words “I seriously have thought about suicide, but then I thought of you and how hard you fight to live each day, how can I possibly take my life for granted like that?”. I felt empowered, and she’s still working hard too. Life isn’t easy for anyone, but it is worth it if you invest in creating a life that makes you happy and take care of yourself.
A fellow cancer fighter emails me for advice and support. I felt empowered.
I received an email from the Cancer Society office informing me that a friend has joined my Earth Angel’s team for this year’s Relay for Life in June. I felt empowered.
Empowerment comes in many forms, what empowers you?